Penang & Perhentian Kecil

Trip Advisor review for transport in from Koh Tao, Thailand to Penang, Malaysia: Really dangerous bus ride on poorly lit/windy roads, lots of drunk bus drivers w no regard for safety, but much cheaper than going by plane or train

Me: Did u say much cheaper??? *books* *almost dies but doesn't* *feels validated*
 
 
Don’t worry folx, we made it to Penang unscathed - despite the perilous 8h night ferry with beds about 6ftx1ft in diameter and seas that were anything but calm, followed by a never-ending mini-bus ride sitting next to a man who had what I unfortunately venture to have been a very illegal exotic animal he was transporting in a box. Not ideal.  
 
But for the purposes of this post, I think I’ll be writing a little differently. See, nothing I’m about to share has any flow as one solid story, but it’s all worth sharing individually (in my completely unbiased opinion). So instead of forcing an awkward timeline, today you get bullet points.
 
Penang

• Penang can be summarized in three words: food & street art (both of which were fantastic)
• We found the best burgers we’ve had since we started traveling (don’t judge, you try eating the same kind of food every day for a month and see how keen you are for a change of pace) and I enjoyed mine with no bread AND no cheese bc my life is a joke and dairy and I are no longer friends
• We had the most amazing Indian food EVER from a man who welcomed us into his restaurant, told us what we should order, and brought over a multitude of curries for us to enjoy until our faces fell off due to sheer spiciness

 
Perhentian Kecil

• Headed by night bus with no beds (just reclining seats) to Kuala Besut, the jetty that’s a gateway to the island, along with two new companions – Erika and Tessa – from Colorado, who we met in Penang
• We were forced to wait approximately 437h (give or take a few) for our speed boat to the island, which was when we learned that 5AM is decidedly not Ky’s best time – he is literally so much more aggressive at this hour than any other time of day and I think it’s absolutely hilarious (which incites more aggression)
• The 7AM speed boat ride to the island was the most choppy boat ride I have ever experienced in my life and I was 78% sure we would fly off the boat and meet our demise
• We signed up for 5 dives and 5 nights on the island at a hostel called Panorama (that is, after walking to almost EVERY SINGLE HOSTEL on the island to check prices and potential for AC – and we ended up right where we started in a 20 person AC dorm
  • AC is literally more important than I can even begin to articulate to you when you’re in a constant battle with this 90% humidity
• We encountered way too many creatures on this island including but not limited to komoditos (my made-up word for the massive mini-komodo dragon lizard things crawling all over waiting for you to take a step in the wrong direction so they can eat you), a huge spider that crawled directly out of the depths of hell just to scare the living crap out of Erika and I, only to be killed by a fearless Malay woman armed with a broom and sheer force of will, and a falling squirrel that wanted to be a flying squirrel and fell out of a tree in the middle of the night along the path we were walking (I screamed, it’s fine)
• I did not wash my hair the entirety of our week-long island vacation and as a result it was essentially one massive dread by the time I decided to wash it – brushing it through did NOT go well, let me tell you
• Erika is an incredible woman who is stronger than I will ever be – she somehow devoured an entire cheeseburger and fries as an APPETIZER before enjoying a delicious 20 ringgit ($5) island BBQ – I am still in awe of her abilities, tbh
• Diving hungover sucks just as bad as it did the first time I did it – would not recommend drinking monkey juice (local island drink involving rum and caramel) and vodka the night before two dives – just a friendly suggestion from a seasoned veteran
• We enjoyed two movies at the hostel on the other side of the island that offered movie nights every night at 7:30 – the first movie was amazing and made us cry and I couldn’t recommend it more (The Book of Henry) and the second movie was a waste of 2.5h of our lives (Blade Runner 2049) but at least I sated my popcorn craving
• We pissed off the people that run the only resort with Wi-Fi on the island by going and buying a coffee each and sitting for hours (weird, right?) so on our last day they lied and said the Wi-Fi was down even though we could see people actively using it, so that was neat
• “Bum gun” is a phrase and tool I never thought I'd have a need for – also I will not explain its purpose other than to tell you that when access to toilet paper is limited, you gotta do what you gotta do - DON’T JUDGE

 
In regards to our dives, they were in no way as amazing as those on Koh Tao in terms of visibility, but they were still pretty great, and now we’ve got 15 dives under our belts!

• Dive 1: Choppy water, bad visibility, lots of cool swim-throughs (cave-like structures you can uh… swim through) that were made a little more dangerous due to the lack of visibility
• Dive 2: Absolute dream with decent visibility and fish freaking everywhere – we found Nemo
• Dive 3: Massive shipwreck with the worst currents EVER which basically tried to shove you into the rusty, sea-urchin covered ship
• Dive 4: Super neat police shipwreck where we got to take off our fins and put them on our hands and then balance on a rope and fight to the very dramatic death (till someone took a fin to the stomach) – I kicked Ky’s butt
• Dive 5: NOTHING ELSE MATTERS I SWAM WITH A SEA TURTLE WE ARE BFFS FOR LIFE AND I CAN DIE HAPPY but also there were like 27 trigger fish all over this site and ya girl was losing her DAMN mind
  
  

As for right now, it has been a damn mission of a day-long journey by multiple mini-vans to get us to Taman Negara – the oldest rainforest in the world – and we are SO excited to be here. The next few days should be filled with trekking in 91% humidity (aka dying) and more bug bites than anyone should accumulate in their entire lives. So wish us luck ya’ll!
Thanks for reading – until next time lovelies!
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XOXOX